Yours Free : Five Ways to Move from Feeling Powerless to Empowered in your Relationship

Love doesn’t get to be part of the equation.

“But I love him.”

They’re the infamous four words that get smart women into a lot of trouble. They’re the words scrolling through your brain anytime you’ve thought about leaving; thought about changing; thought about doing something brave.

Because you know. Secretly, you know.

 
You know something is wrong.
 

The walking on eggshells. The fear of saying something wrong. The tiptoeing around, the worrying, and the self doubt—who have you become? You’ve always been so strong, so smart, so confident, and yet, in this one area—this one crazy making area—here you are, questioning yourself and your relationship and every decision you ever made. When he tells you you’re being too sensitive, you wonder: is he right? Are you the crazy one?

 
You know something is wrong.
 

The way you find yourself consumed by his actions; questioning and second guessing yourself; wondering what he’ll do or say next; feeling like you’ve got to be on high-alert, all the time.

 
You know something is wrong.
 

The way you’ve denied your own instincts; convinced yourself it would be easier to take him back, or too hard to let him go; dismissed your own pain and agony and torment; told yourself that “you don’t care” and “you’re over it.” (Oooh, I recognize that hurt—don’t think I don’t.) You might love him, but here’s the thing:

 
LOVE DOESN’T GET TO BE PART OF THE EQUATION ANYMORE.
 

Just like the alcoholic loves her drink, the addict loves her high, and the emotional eater loves her chocolate or fries, we’ve all loved things that aren’t good for us — but that doesn’t mean they’re serving us well.  

That isn’t to say you necessarily need to act on it, right this second. That isn’t to say you need to leave him, right now; make any firm decisions, just yet, turn your world upside down, right this instant.

But you do have to make a commitment to trust your gut.

And if you can’t do that yet, that’s okay—you can borrow mine for a while. Because you may love him, but that’s not what this is about anymore. Because loving someone that is no longer good for you isn’t saving you: it’s drowning you.

 
I’m Megan Forrest.
 

I run expert advocate workshops, meet-ups and private 1:1 sessions exclusively for women who suspect they might be in a toxic relationship—and need a safe sounding board.

Whether you’re in a relationship now (and spinning), or you’ve recently separated (and you’re still spinning), I’ve got something I want you to read. Choose the option below that best describes you:

 

I’m in a relationship now >>>

I’m in the process of separation or separated >>>

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